I’ve been playing Deep Rock Galactic lately. Before any mission in the game, you can stop at the bar for a drink (as any red-blooded dwarf should). Some of the beers they serve give you stat boosts and other beneficial effects for missions, but most are just fun/weird.
So, inspired by DRG, here are 20 Dwarven beers. Like potions, but dwarfier!
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| From Deep Rock Galactic |
Black Lotus Stout: Blue-black, creamy, tastes like bitter dark chocolate. You vomit up your soul. While your body is blacked out, you exist as an invisible ghost. Can be force-fed to a possessed person to exorcise a spirit. Lasts 10 minutes.
Barber’s Bock: Smells like aftershave and burns your throat. You grow a 10' beard. You can manipulate the beard like a clumsy extra limb, but it’s too slow to attack. Lasts 30 minutes, then the beard falls out (unless you’re a dwarf, then it just gets shorter).
Golden Griffon: Sweet citrus smell. Light, fizzy, tangy. You become light as a feather and with a jump or a push you can float around like a drunken, air-filled balloon. 1-in-6 chance each round to burp and go flying in a random direction. Lasts 10 minutes.
Stormgut Ale: Very bubbly. After drinking, you spend a round letting out a thunderous belch as you deflate like a balloon, becoming a floppy pile of skin. You can still crawl around, just slowly. Lasts 30 minutes.
Firefly Blonde: Amber colored, subtle glow, goes down like warm honey. Your body glows a warm yellow, shedding light out to 10 ft. Open your mouth for a focused spotlight. Lasts 30 minutes.
Dragon Snout Stout: Red-gold, smells like metal. You can sniff out any gold nearby. Lasts 30 minutes.
Devil’s Tongue: Smells like animal musk. You speak in slurred gibberish that animals can perfectly understand. Lasts 10 minutes.
Stoneskin Malt: Earthy, wet cement texture. You pass out for 1d6+6 rounds. Your body is invulnerable until you wake up.
Blue Salamander: Frosty mist, numbing minty taste. Your skin turns blue and your teeth chatter incessantly. You are immune to fire and heat. Pour the beer on the ground for a slick sheet of ice. Lasts 30 minutes.
Magnetite Ale: Looks like foamy quicksilver, Greasy electrical smell, oily, tingles like static. You become magnetized. Any nearby metal objects lighter than you are pulled towards you. If a metal object is heavier than you, you are pulled to it. Lasts 30 minutes.
Perjurer’s Poison: Anyone that drinks this becomes too drunk to knowingly tell a lie. Lasts 10 minutes, after which the drinker passes out.
Displacer Brew: Looks like the inside of a lava lamp. Once per turn, you teleport to a random location within 60ft. Lasts 30 minutes.
Headstrong Stout: Bubbly, smell opens your airways. You are immune to all mind reading, charms, fear, and psychic attacks. Lasts 1d6 hours.
Iron Gut. Smells like rust. You can eat anything with no ill effects. Lasts 30 minutes.
Brimstone Brew. Yellow-green, stinks like sulfur. Thick black smoke billows out of your mouth. Lasts 30 minutes.
Legend’s Lager. Sparkling gold, buttery, warm. The smell brings memories of battles you never experienced, of dwarves and goblins and digging too deep. You gain the stats of a 6th level dwarf. When the drink’s effect ends, you pass out for 1d6 hours. When you wake up, you will have forgotten everything you did while you were drunk.
Blood of the Mountain. Warm red color, earthy. Drinking it feels like a religious experience. It heals all wounds and ailments.
Alchemist’s Special. Octarine color, magical sparkles, flavor cycles through the taste spectrum as you drink it. Has the effects of two random potions.
Strong-in-the-Arm. Smells like sweat, musty, sour. Your Strength is doubled for the duration. When the drink’s effect ends, your Strength score is halved until you rest. Lasts 10 minutes.
Armok’s Breath. Smells of incense and holy oils. Your breath turns undead as a 5th level cleric, but cannot destroy them. Lasts 30 minutes.
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